so this is it. new year's eve. maybe i'll just be another insignificant figure to be joining in the mass reflecting on the blogosphere. but hey, thats what i would like to do and no one's stopping me! (not that anyone tried ^^)

my thoughts are all in a mess. feeling like a fly trapped in a black widow's web doesnt even describe it well enough. and i shall attempt in organising (something i'm not very good with) these thoughts. so many to recall, so many to remember. i guess people get flashbacks when something's gonna end, and yeah, i'm getting lotsa flashbacks at this moment. much happened this year. some i'm glad and proud of, and some i'm not. but i believe all had contributed, in one way or another, to my growing up. and lets not forget, growing old.

one thing i'm truly proud of was to break free. in more ways than i had realised.

i decided to pursue something i truly believed in. and for that i'm happy. fashion school isnt what anyone would truly expect to see a junior college graduate in. it did take a lot out of me to fight, to fulfil my own wishes. but it was worth it (even if there werent, in fact still arent, any eye candy for me to feast upon in the 6-storey building off bencoolen st). it is, ironically at this time of the year, just the start.

leaving things, the once-important-but-no-longer things, behind proved to be hard. lotsa courage, lotsa tears, but once again, all worth the effort. liberation felt good. so did the freedom and light-weighted feeling that followed the abandoning of the unneccessary burden(no, not literally. yes, i know i still need to lose weight before i can truly proclaim the real "light-weighted" feeling). not forgetting acquiring the new attitude to suit my new hair-cut (my long hair was once important too!).

i am also thankful, and will perpetually be, to have a wonderful group of friends who have willingly or otherwise, lugged me through the year despite their own heavy burdens (you know who you are dont you? all of you. young or old ^^) i am grateful for all the times you have decided to not leave me alone when i get obviously bad-tempered. i am also extraordinarily comforted to be able to get together with the whole bunch of you just before the turn of the year and still feel like i've gone back to the days where we would stay in school late, way after the cows came home, to work out mission impossible. even though mission impossible was made possible more than 365 days ago, i smile at the memories we've all had together and will carry on to share. i know it sounds so uber mushy and cliche but still, i simply love you all.

to the people who were not included above, i thank you too, for helping me go through the past 365 days. if you are still there beside me, i appreciate you for staying with me through it all. and you know appreciate is just not strong enough for me to let you know my immense gratitude. if you have long been gone, i appreciate your leaving. without you who have left, i wouldnt have realised the loyalty and love of those who stayed (and very appropriately, i dont need a man by the pussycat dolls plays now).

when the clock strikes 12, i would be 1 day closer to getting 20. to realise this fact has made me think life is far too short and time has past all too quickly. have i lived in vain for the past, statiscally calculated, 1/4 of my lifetime? new year new resolutions, they always say. i think i would wanna, very simply, live life. enjoy every second and minute of it, appreciate every sound and sight, savour every scent and taste, fulfil every wish and responsibility to the best i can. and be innocently happy. at least till the next turn of the year comes.

sometimes i think the year came and went all too soon. am i even geared up for the upcoming 2007? but i guess i dont really have the liberty to choose.

i can feel it creeping up.
i recognise it from the few, but impressionable acquaintances we've had.
but why now?
it is such a bad time.
not now.
and its not a good sign.
is it?



i hope it fades.
or do i not?



i know i sound schizophrenic.

i love kids...


ps. if i say she's my daughter, would you believe me?

i'm looking at you through the glass
dont know how much time has past
all i know is that it feels like forever
but no one ever tells you
that forever feels like home
you're sitting all alone
inside your head





what have i gotten myself into?
i dont really know.
maybe
i dont wanna know.





and while you're outside looking in
describing what you see
remember what you're staring at is me

*a little too much cream cheese a little too much cranberry jam*

i know supper isnt good. but cant a girl indulge once in a while? whats more its gonna be the last supper of the year! i promise!

itchy fingers.

textile fundamentals is useful when watching tv.

in tonight's prison break, the guard uniform that michael scofield was wearing must have been made from at least one of the following fibres:

acetate, acrylic, nylon, polyester




because it melted with heat.









textile fundamentals is useful.

well i know i'm supposed to be able to see the rainbow, but the rain hasnt even stopped! my plans have been foiled.

1. i cant go jog. =(

2. i cant go get my groceries. =((

3. no groceries = cant bake my tartlets. =(((

4. makes me sleepy. so i become a pig. =((((

5. tanning = mission impossible. =(((((

6. shopping = chore. because i dont like wet feet. =((((((

7. when i have nothing to do i think of cute guys. but there isnt any cute guys! >_<"




i need the rain to stop.

am i in position to give ppl advice over matters of the heart?

i love christmas.

ARGH!

i'm getting very frustrated. so stop rattling in my ear like a rattling snake on the desert floor.

taufik hidayat is such a lucky bastard (i mean that in a good way).












i love arrogance in he who can deliver.

i've seen the eigth wonder of the world. and it really made me wonder.

have you ever seen someone so ever exhilarated to receive cupcakes?



chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter, walnut and cream cheese filling and chocolate glaze (adapted from the Cupcake Bakeshop by Chockylit)


my father once asked me
"you always bake for your friends. do they ever give you anything?"









they do. and i know it.

if you considered how scatterbrained i was when i baked this loaf of cranberry nut bread, you would definitely applaud me for having acheived the unachievable. yes. the loaf was edible. and it turned out quite well actually.



the tragic happenings my cranberry nut bread (shall be called CNB from now on. no its got nothing to do with drugs or police. the only white powdery substances that were in my mixing bowl were flour and baking powder.) experienced are as follows...

1. after mixing the wets and the drys together, i realised the "batter" was more like a "dough". i had to incoporate everything using my hands to knead, instead of stirring and folding like making cake batter. was it really supposed to be so dry? the recipe mentioned "batter". would discover later, to my extreme horror, that i missed out an important ingredient.

2. the plate of grated orange zest was sitting right under my nose and i forgot all about it. so i decided to just sprinkle it over my loaf.

3. when filling up my loaf pan, i realised, to my utmost embarrassment, that i had forgotten to preheat my oven. oh god. this isnt my first time.

4. this is where my nightmare began. looking at the loaf pan filled with my "batter", i asked myself what i could have probably missed out. and there, the small voice from my "batter" whispered, "YOU FORGOT EGGS YOU IDIOT!". OH GOD! so i had to take my "batter" out of the buttered loaf pan, crack and beat up 2 eggs, then clumsily and awkwardly try to incoporate the eggs to make the real batter.

5. my loaf didnt rise as much as i would like it to. it probably had to do with the fact that my eggs werent added when they were really supposed to, resulting the the loss of air in the batter. or maybe i should have double sifted my drys. it could also be the fact that i forgot to preheat my oven.

6. my loaf cant come out of my pan. so i had to try to get it out by running the knife along the sides and also try to scoop it out. a small bit of the bottom got stuck onto the pan.





i'm sorry CNB.


i cut the loaf into slices and popped them into the toaster for a few minutes and gave them a thick spread of cranberry jam that i had made previously. i believe honey and cream cheese would work well too.

i'm so excited about christmas that "excited" doesnt really express it clearly enough! being the same old ambitious me, i've been running in my head a list of things that i'm thinking to make for the party. then again, i'm not like a rich tai tai who can just prepare food at home the whole day and wait for guests to come.







ok.
.
one day, i would wanna be a rich tai tai who can prepare food for parties and wait for guests to arrive.
.
.
.
one fine day.
.
.
.
.
.
or maybe i'll just open a nice bistro cum boutique.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
hrm.... maybe.

a potful of cooking rubies. GORGEOUS! cranberry jam in the making! i'll definitely buy more cranberries to do it again (though that also means i'll be getting lighter in my wallet *cranberries are a little bit on the expensive side here in sg; $6+ for a pack of 340g* and heavier on the weighing scale). this is the first time i've gotten my hands on fresh cranberries. i was quite surprised by the taste of the bouyant little crimson fruits. i wouldnt say they're extremely pleasant to eat raw because of their tart nature. my mother, for one, couldnt take the sour burst in her mouth cavity when she sank her teeth into one of them. but i like them! very refreshing. i've used them in my lunch salad today. and they look very pretty on both the inside and the outside(the perfect candidate for the fruits pageant).

cranberry jam making is so fun! because of the air inside the tiny morsels, they give a "pop" sound(doesnt this sound like chemistry? *burning splint extinguishes with a "pop" sound*) when they are slowly cooked. so the liquid that you add together with the berries when you first cook slowly change a bright ruby red! and so far, cranberry jam is the only jam i've made that gels up enough, probably due to the fact that they're much more tart-y, and hence with much more pectin(chemistry again! food chemistry!), than other fruits that i've tried making jam with.

i totally love the result! bright crimson jam with a slightly tarty flavour and tang from the infused lemon zest and lemon juice. i bet it'll be great with nice warm toast, or even better, scones!


given the fact that i'm a total sucker for reducing wastage, i made some tea in the jar which i blended the cooked cranberries in(so that i could utilise all those bits of cranberry product on the blades and the jar!) and added a little more jam and sugar into the drink. i'll probably have it for breakfast tmr!

have you ever met people that just wont stop pestering you even though you drop hints the size, and power, of mass weapons of destruction right in front of them? (no, i dont mean sales personnel that come knocking on your door)

and the fact is they dont seem to suffer from any bit of scorching or radiation or whatever nuclear weapons are supposed to do! i doubt they even realise the formation of the mushroom cloud.

in the end, everybody around them are suffering and they still continue to bug you like some irritating cockroach(no pun intended) that has resisted the whole bottle of baygon you've just wasted!

maybe the americans could take into consideration their great ability to withstand the destruction and do some scientific research to benefit the US and all other countries in defence against the north koreans.

my mother bought uzap.











and both of us are using it.

uniforms. an attempt to make different people look the same. how ironic is it to say that nobody likes to wear uniforms when they are mandatory while uniforms become a novelty when they are out of reach.

attempts to standardise and attempts individualise. if i could i would write them in a equilibruim equation for chemistry exams and calculate the change in energy for the two sides of the equation to reach a balance.then again, maybe i wont want to relive the horrific memories of writing chemical equations and drawing energy charts and utilise Hess' Law. should i then allow one side of the equilibrium to tip off the scale like the see-saw? well in the case of this enclosed system, i believe it can reach a dynamic equilibrium.

therefore,
Standardisation + Individualism ---> Uniquely Uniformed







*Note to self: Chemistry is useful.

"No. No. No. NO."



-Catherine Maladrino, on Vincent Libretti's haute couture-challenge dress

dont you just hate it when you seriously had planned to spend your only free day of the week all by yourself, indulging in the therapeutic silence and loneliness, and all of a sudden, someone just pops out and decides to invade all your plans for the day by forcing you to eat, deciding where you should go and foiling all the plans for a nice, quiet day of fasting and grocery shopping.

oh god. save me.

do you understand the bias attitudes of parents toward their own children? how one could be nagged at for every single thing that didnt seem to be "right" while the other could do the exact same thing and be easily "pardoned" for their "accidental mistakes"? is it just human nature to show favouritism?

sometimes parents whip up excuses such as,

"i expect more from you, that is why i am strict with you."
OR
"you are elder, so i want you to set a good example."

well if that is so, higher expectations definitely isnt such a good thing. good examples wouldnt be that good either.

the parents in question do not realise how biased opinions would affect their children. it just isnt right. wouldnt you think that the child whom you're biased against be hurt in every single possible way? what would he/she think? more often than not, the child that has been "protected" all along would definitely, as i speak from self experience, turn into spoilt brats. yes. SPOILT BRATS that have to waited on. spoilt brats who cant even lift a finger to turn off the fan, who cant even bother to lock the door when he/she is going out, but can and will most willingly splurge on every single "necessity", which i call LUXURY, without even caring how much they cost. you name it, she has it.

*
- anna sui makeup shipped in from overseas. checked.
- a toolbox (and i do mean a worker's toolbox) full of makeup that were all bought from japan. CHECKED. CHECKED. DOUBLE CHECKED. and if you were to ask how much it cost all you get is "oh, i dont know. when i want to buy things, i dont look at the price tags." (say it in the omg-i'm-a-bitchy-snob-and-i-look-down-on-you-who-look-at-price-tags tone) HOW FUCKING IRRITATING IS THAT? its not even HER money. and truth be told, she has never WORKED. not after 'O' levels, and not during her sem breaks. why am i not surprised. beware of parasites in your houses. *and the makeup doesnt seem to do its job at beautifying anyway.*
- lanvin, issey miyake, ralph lauren perfumes. checked.
- 30+ tops from topshop and dorothy perkins and other clothing that occupy 3 closets. checked.
- at least 10 bags that are at least 50bucks each. checked.
- 50+ cds and dvds that are shipped in from overseas. checked.
- a library bookshelf full of manga. checked.

*disclaimer: the list is (yeah you guessed it) BY NO MEANS EXHAUSTIVE. the "collector" is STILL IN THE PROCESS OF ACQUIRING.*

*

of coz not all spoilt brats are the products of favouritism. some are just born to be a spoilt brat. and VERY COINCIDENTALLY, the spoilt brat at home and the spoilt brat in school turn out to have the same first name! dammit. dont name your daughters Melissa. it was a computer virus but the corruption doesnt seem to turn out in computers but in the form of spoilt brats. but, i digress.

will i, or you, ever become the parent in question?

"In terms of evolution, all men are bastards."

happiness comes in many different forms... since the year is almost coming to an end... maybe i shall pay tribute to a few happiest moments of the year!

in chronological order:

* being in a park filled with sakura trees in full bloom. believe me... no photos will ever do the sight any justice. once you've been there yourself, be standing there surrounded with all those delicate pink blooms, you'll never wanna forget that moment. and all the photos you develop after returning just dont seem right.

* liberating myself from the cuffs that i've put on myself for the past years. it shows a lot when something you do makes you feel absolutely free and liberated. my haircut is just one way which i show how i've stepped out from the shadows.

* watching the nafa school collection sashay down the runway. i've blogged about this before and nothing can beat that sense of satisfaction and pride.

* last but not least, receiving a letter from blu inc media to congratulate me on winning a $400 ALDO voucher! woohoo!! dont you just LOVE it when lady luck shines on you! i'm gonna go shoe shopping to feed my shoe and boot fetish! *yay!*

~TO HAPPY MOMENTS!~

sometimes i feel that i cant communicate with the ppl around me. is it that the way i phrase or say something is not comprehensible or that the ppl i'm talking to lack the prior knowledge to know what i'm saying?

does the problem lie with me..?

what is better? being too intelligent or being too stupid..? =\

new nickname: salady! ^^

i lack self discipline to stick onto my exercising schedule and dieting menu... the fact that glorious food is available all around my sch is not helping... the fact that i love to cook and bake isnt helping either...



would you rather be stick thin or fat?

would you rather be skinny and stupid or fat and intelligent?

-start post-




-end post-

Mexican proverb:

"The house does not rest upon the ground, but upon a woman."

i belong to me...
i dont belong to you...
my heart is my possession...
i'll be my own reflection...



i really like this mv. esp the angst and despair in jessica simpson's face throughout the emotional rendition. even more so when she whipped out the scissors and began cutting beautiful locks. no its not that i havent seen such hair-cutting stunts before. its how it fits into the song. what gave me the deepest impression was the fact that she wasnt the kind of sweet, smiling, bimbotic looking girl like in the public affair mv. and also how the mv ended off with her staring right into you and finally the image faded after the faint, weak, sad kind of smile that involves only the slightest twitching of the corners of her lips.

right now i can truly understand the meaning behind the song. i can relate to it. i think many other girls can too. but its not enough. i absolutely believe that more should be able to feel truly what the lyrics mean. more should be able to feel what it is trying to bring out behind that pretty face.

dont forget who you are.

dont lose yourself.

i belong to me...

Oh! The excitement!!

once again, i've been sat down to rush for a deadline. and once again it brought me back to the time when i was rushing for the coursework deadline. all the fluster! all the anxiety! ah, i'm reminiscing. i still remember the time the scope opened for the exhibition. i remember the pride building up in me as i showed visitors the courseworks and explained to them the details of each artist's hard work and ideas. i remember the emotions welling up as the presentation ran. the complexity, the mixture of all emotions.

was i happy that i had finally finished toiling or was i sad that it's all coming to an end?

was i shy to be one of the "artists" presenting the exhibition or was i simply beaming with pride?

were those tears of joy? or was i crying because i was sad?

it does not matter. what matters is the fact that what i did was worth it. even if it was just mere minutes. the effort, the time, the sleepless nights. all worth every second of it. i would give up everything for that whole package of emotions i felt when my work was finally presented to the public. it felt so good. in fact the word good doesnt quite do it justice.

it wasnt the first time i felt this way. i had when i participated in syf for my orchestras during primary and secondary schools. i had when i was on stage for public concerts for dhscos. and today, i felt it when the models walked down the runway in raffles city atrium. how the anxiety gradually built up before the lights shone. how i could hear my heart beating when the words nanyang academy of fine arts school of fashion studies came up on the screen. how the smile crept onto my face when models finally emerged, one by one, doing their pony walk. i didnt design the collection. i didnt do everything by myself. but in one way or another i had participated. and that made me feel proud of myself. and i am willing to put myself through all hard work to feel that roller-coaster of emotions again.

fashion is everything to me. i couldnt give it up. not even when i was paralysed. fashion is my passion!

even though at the time when that was said, i didnt have the time to react very positively to the comment, i know it created a ripple in me. i guess its something i wont forget. and even more greatly can i relate to it now that i've realised how one's passion can fuel everything. now i can say that i've been there, and done that...

i cant wait... for my graduate show... i feel the excitement already...

enjoy the company. or rather, the absence of. what's more therapeutic than spending a day, a full day, all by yourself doing next to nothing? i am blessed. for i have, today, spent a day alone with nobody beside me to talk and a day without any disturbance. doing nothing has never felt this right. even if the weather didnt work out the way i had wanted it to, it was good enough.

sentosa had never felt so serene. even though a 45 min downpour dampened my spirits and deprived me of great sun for tanning, the hours at sentosa was good. with lower chances, though by no means 0 (for i met an ex-classmate of mine who was studying at the tourism academy), of meeting someone i know at sentosa, i enjoyed a full day of peace. reading, sun-tanning, spending 1 hour to sip a cuppa at delifrance, had never felt so appropriate. it wouldnt have been as refreshing at any other delifrance outlets on mainland sg. and sleeping out without any roof over my head or mattress or pillows or blankets never felt this good as well. sleeping on siloso beach with the sea breeze and the partially clouded up, but still a working tanning device nonetheless, sun, surpassed any air conditioned bedroom. the hustle and bustle of sg is just too stifling. sentosa, on a weekday, a rainy weekday no less, was just right.

however, i wished i lived somewhere else. no, its not about being singaporean. its about living somewhere with a bigger land area, somewhere where i can go around escaping from my usual circle, from ppl that i know... somewhere with more nature, more breathable space...

perth. if i lived in perth i would definitely make trips to rottnest if i needed break times like today's. spending a day on rottnest would be therapeutic. definitely. or anywhere else in the world. i want to be able to make trips to places near home yet be far away. so near yet so far. yeah. thats how i wanna feel. and i want to indulge in clean, fresh air and beautiful lush greens. rottnest would be perfect! so would some spot in japan or english countryside. oh basically almost everywhere besides sg.

i am also blessed, for i have skin that tans perfectly. at least the way i want it to. nothing cheers me up more to return to my mirror with bronzed skin reflected after a day at sentosa.

would definitely want to experience it more often. emotional therapy.

last night, i had a dream about you.
in this dream i'm dancing right beside you.
and it looked like everyone was having fun.
the kind of feeling i've waited so long...


it probably seems like i'm very difficult to satisfy. and it probably has to do with the vast number of hobbies and things that i enjoy doing. things that are not supposed to be enjoyed by 1 person. i think.

instructions: make a complete sentence which includes 5 or more of the following words.

drawing; baking; cooking; photography; dress-making; accessory-making; travelling; gardening.

it seems like a dream. but i hope it comes true. to be able to combine all my interests into one. but that probably means i have to work my ass off to get enough money to start doing something that combines all i enjoy. its daunting. the fact that i've come so far, and maybe end up with something i dont enjoy doing for the rest of my life. and it also is scary to think that something you enjoy would not feed you. i dont know which is worse. but i hope i experience neither.

maybe, maybe i'll wind up doing nothing that has anything to do with what i've studied. would that have been a waste then? i choose not to think that way. i probably wouldnt have been here typing this if i havent gone through anything that i have in the past 19 years, waste or not, i enjoy this sweet after-taste as much as i detested the moment when i had the bitter morsel in my mouth.

to have come this far and look back the past 19 years, time has gone by. very quickly, too. i do not linger, i do not regret. i have to move on. even if whats in front is blurred by the mist, i know i will make it.

dont stop, come a little closer.

mmm... tried making mochi a while ago... it didnt take much time actually... just bout 5 mins... but it wasnt how i wanted it to be... too soft... should have put less water... oh well...

i keep thinking about going out... but somehow i dont feel good enough... what should i do... maybe i should go shopping tmr... with my mother! sounds good enough... shall try vivo... or maybe just parkway... ha...

oooh! went to raffles to do model fittings today... cramp cramp cramp... the space is really really small... but there's like... 40 ppl in it? OMG... everyone was hustling about... models changing... ppl taking down alterations... help to zip! help to pin! help to do everything! ooh la la... thomas and vik said its gonna be worse on the day itself... yikes!

i'm really crazy about 2 things right now...

1: goong! do i need to elaborate on that?!

2: megatokyo! my new found interest! haha... well like mentioned in the previous post it isnt quite new... but yup... i'm starting to get hooked on again! i'm thinking of getting some tshirts ya know... wont it be cool?!



they're so cute! well... they dont have the black one in ladies! damn... i'll think about it... ph34r t3h cu73 0n35...

i swear i'll either die by ripping my throat apart or of fisherman's friend intoxication... i've downed like almost one pack today... which is 22 lozenges... and i dont feel better... wont it be great if they could invent something to stop throat irritation like just a SPRAY... or something... i have drunk like at least 4 litres of water today... and its not nice feeling so bloated... i dont even remember eating... cept for pills... but i did eat 2 bowls of chap chye *mix vege chinese style* and some pork ribs... ok... i need to feel better!! i had wanted to go shopping... my mum laughed at me this morning when i woke up with a sore throat... i got pissed off... yes... but nvm... i did went jogging yest with ev... havent ran with her for so long... but somehow the bad throat crept up after that run... was it really haze? i dont know... it just sucks... though i feel good having ran from paya lebar to kembangan... walked back... coz ev couldnt take it... BUT i did jog back from grandlink sq to my house and even flew up the stairs! OK not flew... just faster than usual turtle-rate... i'm proud of myself... coz my legs didnt ache today... shall do it again next week when i get the WHOLE WEEK OFF! my last week to enjoy...

currently i'm stuck onto my com... reading Megatokyo! again! haha... i forgot about it a few years ago... but now i'm back! so i'm going through some strips that i've already read to refresh my memory... so right now its me, my water bottle, my PACKS *note intended emphasis* of fisherman's and megatokyo for hari raya...

wed wed i shall go to sch again for sewing and *gasp* fitting! will be the first time i'll work as a dresser for a fashion show... by work here i mean free labour... but its exciting! though i'll probably drown myself in sorrow when i see their 24-inch waistlines... ok... nvm... right now i'll indulge in my fantasies... and i mean joo and kim... *melts* =D~ i love them so so much!

HA! TAKE THAT YOU WUSS!


*i dont really care how hideous i look... invalids always look bad... and anyway... i love how i am right now... i'm FREE*

TAKE THAT AGAIN!

today is ondeh ondeh day! haha... well my first attempt at trying to make ondeh ondeh... now i wonder why ppl make such a fuss over ondeh ondehs... they're fairly easy to make in my opinion... mashed sweet potato, glutinous rice flour, water/coconut milk, tapioca flour, pinch of salt, chopped gula melaka, grated coconut and you'll be all set to go... it does seem like a long list but compared to baking its so much easier... its just like making tang yuan... knead, roll, cook... and viola... of coz there are some tricks of the trade, like how long to cook it and how to get the gula melaka to melt all but with that tiny little bit of solid sugar crystal left... but thats fairly easy... i think probably the most difficult would be to make sure your ondeh ondehs dont burst from over cooking... haha... some of mine did but its still nice! =D~

i didnt weigh out my ingredients like in the recipes i got from... i just estimated and so long as i formed a nice dough... but you can find an ondeh ondeh recipe right here... but you can improvise!


i made some purple ondeh ondehs in tribute to minghui for indirectly reminding me to try out making ondeh ondehs... haha... i just substituted the japanese sweet potatoes that i used in the first batch to the purple sweet potatoes...


i REALLY like the colour! haha... they're so VIBRANT! and just look exceptionally cute after coated with dessicated coconut...


ME: i think ondeh ondehs should be coated only with a little coconut... too much coconut and it wont be cute already

MOTHER: you making toy or what?!

ME: must be ASTHETICALLY PLEASING also mah! (i'm definitely an art student!)


seriously... i'm damn full from all the ondeh ondehs... i think i probably ate 10... and i'm STUFFED... i think i made about 60 ondeh ondehs... about 25 for my father which had just coconut filling coz he's diabetic and i brought some over to my nanny... and i still have a lot left over! will have them tmr... haha... i'll die from ondeh ondeh poisoning... next time... i shall try using pulut hitam(black glutinous rice) to make the ondeh ondehs... =D~

*declares that all deepavalis shall be ondeh ondeh day!*

my guppy has given birth! haha... to a million(alright i know i'm exaggerating) of tiny little babies... yay! they're soooo cute... haha...



am waiting for my sweet potatoes to boil... trying to make ondeh ondeh today... will blog about it later!

yay! the long awaited letter has arrived! yay! i had been waiting so impatiently for this letter! haha... coz it was just taking too long... its my sem 1 results! heehee... even my father was impatient and he decided to take a peek at my results without opening the envelop... explains the torn window haha...



well well... it reminds me of many things... haha... firstly the colour definitely reminds me of tj result slips... haha the beige kinda colour and the layout is the same too! heehee... also the grades were kinda like my sec 1 first sem results too... but i do hope that it carries on being the same for ALL SEMS that i'll be going through the whole of my course in nafa... =D (i dont really want it to turn out like throughout my sec sch years... it just went downhill after the first sem!)

on the whole... i'm happy with my results... heehee... will strive HARDER! nonetheless...

busy busy busy!

and so... friday the 13th was dedicated to tj art coursework exhibition... heh... it felt... weird... well its just that time passed so quickly! i felt as if i had MY exhibition yesterday... i could still remember... how proud i was... and also sad that art was coming to an end... soon... but it wasnt really ending... just that all of us werent gonna be together that often anymore... i miss it so much... esp the time we had together in perth... but then again... it was a joyous occasion! and how can joyous occasions be without evinrude cakes! haha... well... i'm official baker of the art department i guess... lol... i just like the feeling of having them eat my cakes... so there i tried new recipes... chocolate with peanut butter filling... and peach! haha... the peach was a bit self-improvised... just tweaked it from the ordinary vanilla one... i totally LOVE the chocolate and peanut butter... well of coz it was absolutely sinful... had wanted to bake more but my 2nd batch of chocolate babies got burnt bottoms and i just decided to stop... my poor babies... haha...


peachie peach!


burnt bottoms dont taste good... but they are quite photogenic... =D

well i got to backstage of sfw! heehee yay! quite excited but also quite sick and tired of sewing everyday in nafa... will take off days! i need sun, sea and sand! i wanna go to sentosa... wanna go to vivo city... wanna do shopping... wanna get a tan... wanna get a swim! i need i need i need to slim down... i need to lose that tummy... and of coz other fats all around... haha... will persevere! PERSEVERE!

haha i was watching the mv of nothing in this world... the whole story was quite cute... haha... but then again... you had paris hilton shaking and twisting her butt all around the whole screen throughout the song... heh...

so... there i go back to sch to be factory girl again after a long weekend... including a self-proclaimed holiday... hehe... things really get very monotonous when all you do is sew sew sew... sigh... but then i said i would help out in the fashion show... and it was probably one good way i could secure the chance to help out backstage as a dresser during the sfw... (for the uninitiated... sfw = singapore fashion week) oh well oh well...

i watched the episode of oprah winfrey show this evening on ch 5... it was bout this group of women... and girls... and their insecurities... one of the girl in question was a teen model... prob 16... who is very pretty... at least everybody knows that... but always looks into the mirror and feel that she is ugly and fat etc etc... and even thought of suicide coz of that... i was then telling my mother who was also watching it... "in that case... i'll kill myself too... so will many other girls..." haha... well if you think i'm in need of a wake up call too like the girl on the oprah show... its not that case!!! you should have SEEN THAT GIRL! and well her mother tried to reassure her by saying... "well you're not fat... i'm the fat one"

competition... be it negative or positive... its always part of human nature... and very much present in women... i think its been naturally configured in every woman to be competitive about appearance... no matter how pretty or slim you are... esp in weight... dont you think? and somehow its interesting how every woman in that position would say... "you're not fat! i'm the fat one!" its like trying to making oneself be the one that should be sympathised with... as justification to their trying to lose more weight and their tight, stringent diet... well well... i've just analysed myself... haha... but no...i'm not changing my mind... i'm still gonna try to lose my 5 kgs... and i'm supposed to jog tmr morning... hee...

oprah show is one of the talk shows that i really watch somewhat religiously... except for certain boring episodes... but i've learnt a lot and also got a lot of *enlightenment* watching the oprah show... many episodes leave me thinking so much more than i would normally do... like the episodes on courageous ppl and dogs... episode on holocaust and genocide survivors (elie wiesel's NIGHT) etc etc... and not to forget episodes that leave me drooling! haha... all the cakes and burgers and great food... ooh... well... i sound like some oldie... haha...

talking about watching tv... i'm so happy that princess hours or *goong* has started... *ooh... eye candy!* and i'm even happier to find that its shown at 7pm instead of 10 like dae jang geum coz it means i get to watch my other ch 5 shows without interruption... project runway, csi, criminal minds, prison break, ghost whisperer... haha... whole night of entertainment for all weekdays! yay! i'm such a tv junkie! but i'm loving it...

1207... sounds like a good time to go to bed... or i will be too lazy to go jog tmr morning... =D (you will notice that i took a tat less than 3 hours to blog this post... well i'm a busy person! haha... multi-tasking while trying to write this long essay is just what i'm the best at!)

*TO FELLOW DIET-ERS (is there even such a word?)*

i had wanted to blog about this 2 days ago... but i forgot... well... blame it on the bad memory... i'm getting old...

was watching an episode of surfing the menu friday afternoon... the day i pronounced holiday for the factory girl... haha... and there they were! filming in rottnest! OH MY GAWD! btw... if you didnt know... surfing the menu is some kind of travel cum cooking show... where 2 guys go around australia and whip up some simple dishes... alright... i wont deny it... i'm watching it partly because of the eye candy... haha...

BUT! i stayed through that whole episode on friday because of rottnest okie! not the eye candy... well... it just stirred up alot of memories you see... i really miss the time we (tj art department 04/05) had there... well... not only there... just everything together... i just wished we were all still there... in rottnest... cycling... playing... well... just being together... the whole bunch of us...



suddenly i have a stupid idea... lets all go there again... someday... all of us... someday... somehow... this time... with full attendance...

*to memories...*

the haze is so bad! how do i go jog? dammit... i could distinctively smell it the second i came out of my room... bad bad bad... i'm supposed to be exercising and the haze isnt helping... sigh...

went shopping yesterday... didnt buy ANYTHING... haha... i dont know if its good or bad... good coz i didnt spend... and bad coz i didnt get my long awaited retail therapy! ahhh! i will go again! i have to... hee... ^^

past few days been working like a factory girl at a garment factory... haha... sew sew sew... but it was good practice for me... been sewing ribbons onto satin... if you do not realise how hard it is to sew that... you should find out some day... haha...

i really hope i get to go backstage during the singapore fashion week... oh pls pls pls... its gonna be such a good experience! and i hope i'll have eye candy backstage... hehe... well... i do mean STRAIGHT eye candy... hee... ^^

got to get to work! i have customization orders from a friend... so i'm coming up with a new design... and also a pair of new earrings for myself for my cousin's wedding which is next saturday! *and my uncle just informed my family last night! i was so so shocked... haha... i always thought it would be 1 mth in advance... but then again my other uncle said... he's character is just like that... so as long as its not 24 hours notice its good enough... haha*

well... went to school to help out in my teacher's fashion show... got to go tmr too... and early! well well... just got to wake up earlier then...

went to little india after the helping out session... haha... its like my first time there at night... and also my first time there to eat anything... oh how i love indian food! haha... went to this place for some vegetarian food... its not komalas... (heard its standard dropped so didnt bother to try) just a small restaurant... but oh my goodness... i'm gonna BURST! had this set dinner... which actually was like rice with lots of small dishes of curries and other sides... such as yoghurt, dhal, onion curry, salad, and a dessert! oooh... full full full... i seldom eat so much... haha... and then my dear friends HAVE to go get some chocolate fondue! haha... okie is DAMN sinful... and i'm supposed to be on a diet!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!

i went to thread my eyebrows today! haha... it wasnt very painful... only when threading certain points... but i think ppl who have the same experience would realise that tearing is a natural mechanism... lol... i mean it wasnt all that painful and i could still take it... but tears just welled up... but hey! i did great! i mean i didnt like frown and keep twitching like my other friend... haha... she was totally whining just now... its like the first time i got my eyebrows shaped... really amazing how just by threading my eyebrows i look different... haha... oh yes... i got it done by my friend's mother... its a shop at the place where the tourism board built like a nice bazaar like place... shop name is selvi... so if you wanna go try out threading you can go there! haha...

anyway... i'm trying to get my lazy bum off the couch and go jogging... every day i say... tmr morning i'll jog... tmr morning... haha but every morning i'll say... i dont feel like going down to jog... haha... the life of a procrastinator! (if theres a word like that) but tmr!!! i'm REALLY REALLY GONNA GO JOG!! before going to sch... hehe... i will!!! I WILL!!! and i was telling my friend that i'm gonna fast with her... and not eat lunch tmr... haha... see if i can tahan... but i dont think so... hehe... oh well...

*i need to loose a lot of weight! i want to! shall aim for more than 5kg by the end of the year!! then i can cross out number 5 on my wish list... ^^

new blog! inspired by the new pantene ad (the one with natasha bedingfield - unwritten)... it just brings a smile everytime i watch that ad... esp the 3rd part of it when the girl gives her hair a nice fling and she says "when i shine... i can see the rainbow... not the rain..." and there... dedicated to the bits and pieces of my life... the rainbow in my life...

finally a place where i can really rant... of coz it'll be extra work to maintain 2 blogs... esp when i'm desperately trying to get customers for my other one... (in case you didnt know my other blog is a selling blog... you can check it out... first site on *MY CIRCLE* at the navigations)well... lots of things been happening around... not the best of times for me... but i'm definitely trying to make the best out of it...

smile smile smile! well it really feels a lot better when you smile all the time... i mean... it keeps me going... and it definitely helps when i have my *fuji-san* right on my table all the time...


i've got a new haircut too! haha... and again... for those who dont already know... i've had my long hair... like long long hair... ever since i was 3... well i dont remember having anything shorter than shoulder length for at least a decade i would say... but all those things that've been happening around me these few weeks just made me really wanna have a change... and hair was the easiest to go i guess... yeah... was apprehensive coz i didnt wanna look hideous right now esp when i'm in fashion sch... but hey... i'm loving it so far... refreshing change... once in a while... i had told myself its time to try something new when i'm young... not like i'm that old... but i dont wanna end up regretting... so... away the hair went... and somehow... i felt lighter... like i dont have anything weighing me down anymore... i do mean it metaphorically... although it does still make sense if it were literally... (check out number 5 on my wish list and you'll understand)

for those friends who are looking forward to see me in my new haircut... well... at least not on this blog... YET... because i'm trying to give my friends a surprise (or shock) at a gathering we'll have soon... so... no luck in finding pics of me with my new bob here yet... but soon...

holidays right now... and i'm kinda looking forward to the new term... and also the new year... not quite adapting to the fact that holidays arent the usual time periods that i've had throughout my previous 12 years of education... but i am really happy with what i'm doing...

new new new! new term... new year... new hairstyle... new LIFE!

-TO NEW BEGINNINGS-