a potful of cooking rubies. GORGEOUS! cranberry jam in the making! i'll definitely buy more cranberries to do it again (though that also means i'll be getting lighter in my wallet *cranberries are a little bit on the expensive side here in sg; $6+ for a pack of 340g* and heavier on the weighing scale). this is the first time i've gotten my hands on fresh cranberries. i was quite surprised by the taste of the bouyant little crimson fruits. i wouldnt say they're extremely pleasant to eat raw because of their tart nature. my mother, for one, couldnt take the sour burst in her mouth cavity when she sank her teeth into one of them. but i like them! very refreshing. i've used them in my lunch salad today. and they look very pretty on both the inside and the outside(the perfect candidate for the fruits pageant).

cranberry jam making is so fun! because of the air inside the tiny morsels, they give a "pop" sound(doesnt this sound like chemistry? *burning splint extinguishes with a "pop" sound*) when they are slowly cooked. so the liquid that you add together with the berries when you first cook slowly change a bright ruby red! and so far, cranberry jam is the only jam i've made that gels up enough, probably due to the fact that they're much more tart-y, and hence with much more pectin(chemistry again! food chemistry!), than other fruits that i've tried making jam with.

i totally love the result! bright crimson jam with a slightly tarty flavour and tang from the infused lemon zest and lemon juice. i bet it'll be great with nice warm toast, or even better, scones!


given the fact that i'm a total sucker for reducing wastage, i made some tea in the jar which i blended the cooked cranberries in(so that i could utilise all those bits of cranberry product on the blades and the jar!) and added a little more jam and sugar into the drink. i'll probably have it for breakfast tmr!

have you ever met people that just wont stop pestering you even though you drop hints the size, and power, of mass weapons of destruction right in front of them? (no, i dont mean sales personnel that come knocking on your door)

and the fact is they dont seem to suffer from any bit of scorching or radiation or whatever nuclear weapons are supposed to do! i doubt they even realise the formation of the mushroom cloud.

in the end, everybody around them are suffering and they still continue to bug you like some irritating cockroach(no pun intended) that has resisted the whole bottle of baygon you've just wasted!

maybe the americans could take into consideration their great ability to withstand the destruction and do some scientific research to benefit the US and all other countries in defence against the north koreans.

my mother bought uzap.











and both of us are using it.

uniforms. an attempt to make different people look the same. how ironic is it to say that nobody likes to wear uniforms when they are mandatory while uniforms become a novelty when they are out of reach.

attempts to standardise and attempts individualise. if i could i would write them in a equilibruim equation for chemistry exams and calculate the change in energy for the two sides of the equation to reach a balance.then again, maybe i wont want to relive the horrific memories of writing chemical equations and drawing energy charts and utilise Hess' Law. should i then allow one side of the equilibrium to tip off the scale like the see-saw? well in the case of this enclosed system, i believe it can reach a dynamic equilibrium.

therefore,
Standardisation + Individualism ---> Uniquely Uniformed







*Note to self: Chemistry is useful.

"No. No. No. NO."



-Catherine Maladrino, on Vincent Libretti's haute couture-challenge dress

dont you just hate it when you seriously had planned to spend your only free day of the week all by yourself, indulging in the therapeutic silence and loneliness, and all of a sudden, someone just pops out and decides to invade all your plans for the day by forcing you to eat, deciding where you should go and foiling all the plans for a nice, quiet day of fasting and grocery shopping.

oh god. save me.

do you understand the bias attitudes of parents toward their own children? how one could be nagged at for every single thing that didnt seem to be "right" while the other could do the exact same thing and be easily "pardoned" for their "accidental mistakes"? is it just human nature to show favouritism?

sometimes parents whip up excuses such as,

"i expect more from you, that is why i am strict with you."
OR
"you are elder, so i want you to set a good example."

well if that is so, higher expectations definitely isnt such a good thing. good examples wouldnt be that good either.

the parents in question do not realise how biased opinions would affect their children. it just isnt right. wouldnt you think that the child whom you're biased against be hurt in every single possible way? what would he/she think? more often than not, the child that has been "protected" all along would definitely, as i speak from self experience, turn into spoilt brats. yes. SPOILT BRATS that have to waited on. spoilt brats who cant even lift a finger to turn off the fan, who cant even bother to lock the door when he/she is going out, but can and will most willingly splurge on every single "necessity", which i call LUXURY, without even caring how much they cost. you name it, she has it.

*
- anna sui makeup shipped in from overseas. checked.
- a toolbox (and i do mean a worker's toolbox) full of makeup that were all bought from japan. CHECKED. CHECKED. DOUBLE CHECKED. and if you were to ask how much it cost all you get is "oh, i dont know. when i want to buy things, i dont look at the price tags." (say it in the omg-i'm-a-bitchy-snob-and-i-look-down-on-you-who-look-at-price-tags tone) HOW FUCKING IRRITATING IS THAT? its not even HER money. and truth be told, she has never WORKED. not after 'O' levels, and not during her sem breaks. why am i not surprised. beware of parasites in your houses. *and the makeup doesnt seem to do its job at beautifying anyway.*
- lanvin, issey miyake, ralph lauren perfumes. checked.
- 30+ tops from topshop and dorothy perkins and other clothing that occupy 3 closets. checked.
- at least 10 bags that are at least 50bucks each. checked.
- 50+ cds and dvds that are shipped in from overseas. checked.
- a library bookshelf full of manga. checked.

*disclaimer: the list is (yeah you guessed it) BY NO MEANS EXHAUSTIVE. the "collector" is STILL IN THE PROCESS OF ACQUIRING.*

*

of coz not all spoilt brats are the products of favouritism. some are just born to be a spoilt brat. and VERY COINCIDENTALLY, the spoilt brat at home and the spoilt brat in school turn out to have the same first name! dammit. dont name your daughters Melissa. it was a computer virus but the corruption doesnt seem to turn out in computers but in the form of spoilt brats. but, i digress.

will i, or you, ever become the parent in question?

"In terms of evolution, all men are bastards."

happiness comes in many different forms... since the year is almost coming to an end... maybe i shall pay tribute to a few happiest moments of the year!

in chronological order:

* being in a park filled with sakura trees in full bloom. believe me... no photos will ever do the sight any justice. once you've been there yourself, be standing there surrounded with all those delicate pink blooms, you'll never wanna forget that moment. and all the photos you develop after returning just dont seem right.

* liberating myself from the cuffs that i've put on myself for the past years. it shows a lot when something you do makes you feel absolutely free and liberated. my haircut is just one way which i show how i've stepped out from the shadows.

* watching the nafa school collection sashay down the runway. i've blogged about this before and nothing can beat that sense of satisfaction and pride.

* last but not least, receiving a letter from blu inc media to congratulate me on winning a $400 ALDO voucher! woohoo!! dont you just LOVE it when lady luck shines on you! i'm gonna go shoe shopping to feed my shoe and boot fetish! *yay!*

~TO HAPPY MOMENTS!~

sometimes i feel that i cant communicate with the ppl around me. is it that the way i phrase or say something is not comprehensible or that the ppl i'm talking to lack the prior knowledge to know what i'm saying?

does the problem lie with me..?

what is better? being too intelligent or being too stupid..? =\

new nickname: salady! ^^

i lack self discipline to stick onto my exercising schedule and dieting menu... the fact that glorious food is available all around my sch is not helping... the fact that i love to cook and bake isnt helping either...



would you rather be stick thin or fat?

would you rather be skinny and stupid or fat and intelligent?

-start post-




-end post-

Mexican proverb:

"The house does not rest upon the ground, but upon a woman."

i belong to me...
i dont belong to you...
my heart is my possession...
i'll be my own reflection...



i really like this mv. esp the angst and despair in jessica simpson's face throughout the emotional rendition. even more so when she whipped out the scissors and began cutting beautiful locks. no its not that i havent seen such hair-cutting stunts before. its how it fits into the song. what gave me the deepest impression was the fact that she wasnt the kind of sweet, smiling, bimbotic looking girl like in the public affair mv. and also how the mv ended off with her staring right into you and finally the image faded after the faint, weak, sad kind of smile that involves only the slightest twitching of the corners of her lips.

right now i can truly understand the meaning behind the song. i can relate to it. i think many other girls can too. but its not enough. i absolutely believe that more should be able to feel truly what the lyrics mean. more should be able to feel what it is trying to bring out behind that pretty face.

dont forget who you are.

dont lose yourself.

i belong to me...

Oh! The excitement!!

once again, i've been sat down to rush for a deadline. and once again it brought me back to the time when i was rushing for the coursework deadline. all the fluster! all the anxiety! ah, i'm reminiscing. i still remember the time the scope opened for the exhibition. i remember the pride building up in me as i showed visitors the courseworks and explained to them the details of each artist's hard work and ideas. i remember the emotions welling up as the presentation ran. the complexity, the mixture of all emotions.

was i happy that i had finally finished toiling or was i sad that it's all coming to an end?

was i shy to be one of the "artists" presenting the exhibition or was i simply beaming with pride?

were those tears of joy? or was i crying because i was sad?

it does not matter. what matters is the fact that what i did was worth it. even if it was just mere minutes. the effort, the time, the sleepless nights. all worth every second of it. i would give up everything for that whole package of emotions i felt when my work was finally presented to the public. it felt so good. in fact the word good doesnt quite do it justice.

it wasnt the first time i felt this way. i had when i participated in syf for my orchestras during primary and secondary schools. i had when i was on stage for public concerts for dhscos. and today, i felt it when the models walked down the runway in raffles city atrium. how the anxiety gradually built up before the lights shone. how i could hear my heart beating when the words nanyang academy of fine arts school of fashion studies came up on the screen. how the smile crept onto my face when models finally emerged, one by one, doing their pony walk. i didnt design the collection. i didnt do everything by myself. but in one way or another i had participated. and that made me feel proud of myself. and i am willing to put myself through all hard work to feel that roller-coaster of emotions again.

fashion is everything to me. i couldnt give it up. not even when i was paralysed. fashion is my passion!

even though at the time when that was said, i didnt have the time to react very positively to the comment, i know it created a ripple in me. i guess its something i wont forget. and even more greatly can i relate to it now that i've realised how one's passion can fuel everything. now i can say that i've been there, and done that...

i cant wait... for my graduate show... i feel the excitement already...

enjoy the company. or rather, the absence of. what's more therapeutic than spending a day, a full day, all by yourself doing next to nothing? i am blessed. for i have, today, spent a day alone with nobody beside me to talk and a day without any disturbance. doing nothing has never felt this right. even if the weather didnt work out the way i had wanted it to, it was good enough.

sentosa had never felt so serene. even though a 45 min downpour dampened my spirits and deprived me of great sun for tanning, the hours at sentosa was good. with lower chances, though by no means 0 (for i met an ex-classmate of mine who was studying at the tourism academy), of meeting someone i know at sentosa, i enjoyed a full day of peace. reading, sun-tanning, spending 1 hour to sip a cuppa at delifrance, had never felt so appropriate. it wouldnt have been as refreshing at any other delifrance outlets on mainland sg. and sleeping out without any roof over my head or mattress or pillows or blankets never felt this good as well. sleeping on siloso beach with the sea breeze and the partially clouded up, but still a working tanning device nonetheless, sun, surpassed any air conditioned bedroom. the hustle and bustle of sg is just too stifling. sentosa, on a weekday, a rainy weekday no less, was just right.

however, i wished i lived somewhere else. no, its not about being singaporean. its about living somewhere with a bigger land area, somewhere where i can go around escaping from my usual circle, from ppl that i know... somewhere with more nature, more breathable space...

perth. if i lived in perth i would definitely make trips to rottnest if i needed break times like today's. spending a day on rottnest would be therapeutic. definitely. or anywhere else in the world. i want to be able to make trips to places near home yet be far away. so near yet so far. yeah. thats how i wanna feel. and i want to indulge in clean, fresh air and beautiful lush greens. rottnest would be perfect! so would some spot in japan or english countryside. oh basically almost everywhere besides sg.

i am also blessed, for i have skin that tans perfectly. at least the way i want it to. nothing cheers me up more to return to my mirror with bronzed skin reflected after a day at sentosa.

would definitely want to experience it more often. emotional therapy.